Eliot Ness (Great Lakes Brewing Co. - Cleveland, OH)

So, we’ve talked about Lost Abbey’s Isabelle Proximus in all of its “sonuva ... I just paid $12 for a shot of this beer, but holy cow was it worth it!” glory.

Now, let’s talk about a beer that still has the potential to free your mind and trip you into a state of bliss without mortgaging your future. Let’s rap about Eliot Ness, one of the flagship offerings from Great Lakes Brewing Co in Cleveland.

Great Lakes makes a certified army of great beers, which we will (of course) introduce at a later time and date. We don’t want to inundate you with any potential favoritism. However, along with Allagash, Ommegang and Dogfish Head, the G to-tha L is up there in the pantheon of brewing companies that just get it. They make beer that is endlessly creative without ever producing a false flavor note or trying something so off-kilter that its off-putting.

Eliot Ness is the first of their said beers that we’ve tried. We first tried it at this biker bar in Lancaster, New York. It was subtly placed in the lower right-hand corner of one of those Red Bull coolers. It looked like it was the only beer that hadn’t been touched. The bartender had no idea what we were asking for when we ordered it - we had to ask twice.

When we first put lager to lips, we were blown away. “How could we be ____ years old and could only have just found this beer? Hasn’t this been prominently displayed at supermarkets and convenience stores? Isn’t this on tap somewhere else?” Yeah, check, check and check. This beer was everywhere, right under our noses. It couldn’t have been for long, though.

As we’ve mentioned earlier, this is one of those beers that we can’t even drink all that often due to its never-ending novelty and sweetness. To tell you what it tastes like is futile. It tastes like a beer wrapped in a sunshower wrapped in a vacation wrapped in sex. That’s the best we got for ya. Ok. We’ll give it a shot.

Eliot Ness pours in an amazingly clear ruby-amber color that is sexy like Scarlett Johansson in a sundress. The aroma comes complete with apricot, pomegranate, herbal tea, cinnamon, fresh-cut grass and cayenne. When you finally taste the beer (you’re going to want to take a long look at it first) you will find the taste is sweet (caramel, orange, blueberry - in that order) to go along with a toasted and Vienna malt base. The spice; the herbs; the hops; the body. It’s all here.

This is Jimi Hendrix on Vinyl.

This is Common at open-mic night.

This is the best beer you’ll find for $9 a six-pack. Guaranteed.

Rating: 5 pints