Our daughters just had to drag us.

After enough of their coercing and vicious text messages, we finally decided it would be nice for our young ladies to head off to their first real rock concert. It gives them the chance to be real teens, and it gives us some time to bond with each other over beers and in the comfort of a dark, loud arena.

We selected John Mayer because - quite honestly - he’s not threatening. I mean, you never hear about him singing about weed and hookers and “gettin’ crunk,” as the kids say. Our little angels are into him, and we thoroughly understand. He’s so cute and he has that voice. [*sigh*]

Oh my god, I know this song! See! Look ladies, we’re cool! We can sing along, too! Hey Helen, why don’t you grab us another [hiccup] round while you’re breaking the seal, will ya?

Wow, he’s so sexy. I mean the way he holds that guitar, the way he sings in falsetto - it’s a musigasm. It’s spectacular. I sure hope our daughters don’t fall out of love with him the way they fell out of love with James Taylor. I guess you can’t keep them young, innocent and unsuspecting forever.

Hey Helen! How are we getting home? Do you think we could have the hubbies pick us up? Do you think they are done with their poker nite yet?

AHH! He’s closing with “Your Body Is a Wonderland.” I swear he wrote that song just for us ... every time I hear it, I feel like I’m 22 again ... just a young lady with all the potential, all the energy and all the passion in the world - doing keg stands at the Alpha House and listening to Santana while I straddled some freshmen und…

           Mom ... mom ... MOM! Stop it. I don’t even really like John Mayer. I just picked this stupid            concert so you’d have something to do, too. Next time, can we pleeeeease go see            Rihanna? Pretty please?

Sigh ... you’re only so young for so long.

Presumed Names: Dana and clearly, Helen

Estimated BAC: .12 and .12 ... easy

Poison of Choice: Molson, but it could be Bud Light judging by what’s left in the glass