More proof that some folks either aren’t nearly as smart as they should be, or just would rather feel somewhat remedial in the company of others, or have actually stumbled upon one of the greatest ideas in American college campus history.

Business students (who use every opportunity as a “networking” opportunity) have come together at the University of Michigan under the club name “Maize and Brew.” (Clever!) The social club is designed to get a bunch of students together and talk about the “joy and nuances of beer.” That’s cute and all, but exactly what kind of information will be dispensed at said meetings? Better yet ... will beer be served?

Business students tend to be a social, fun loving bunch who generally agree with the great Benjamin Franklin when he said “Beer is God’s Proof the He Loves Us and Wants Us to Be Happy.” And yet we find ourselves asking these questions: What is beer? Where does it come from? Is it vegetable, animal, or mineral? Where did all my money go last night?

Maize & Brew, has set out to answer these fundamental questions forever more. Also other question you’ve had like: What’s the difference between a lager and an ale? And how about wine and beer? What’s a good beer to order with chicken tetrazzini or tomato chatni? Is fresh beer made with flowers and smells like it? And yes, should even woman like beer because it really does taste fabulous.

Ugh. Really? Two things jump out at us here:

1. Animal, vegetable or mineral? Are these questions for real? This is nothing that common sense or a 15-second trip to wikipedia won’t help you figure out.

2. “What’s a good beer to order with chicken tetrazzini or tomato chatni?” If your dish ends in a vowel, then the answer is wine. Stop trying to impress us with your fussy beer knowledge of pairing with fussy foods.

And, of course, leave it to business students who are all about learning minutiae like the value chain of the beer, the production process, style comparison and a “behind the scenes operation” (a.k.a. a brewery tour).

We’re sort of jealous that this club wasn’t offered at our school. Then again, we were psychology students, which basically means our club consisted of six of us comparing the effects of various pharmaceuticals through oral sampling, getting behind the scenes tours of cop cars and then documenting our experiences on our Live Journal.

Ahh ... college.

Beer: Vegetable, Animal or Mineral? [The MSJ]